Hello Aunt Flo

I have my period!

Let me lay out the pro’s and con’s of this particular occurrence.

PRO‘S

1. I am not pregnant

CON’S

1. I have blood coming out of my vagina
2. I am bloated, dirty, spotty, sticky and gross
3. I just ate around 15,000 calories of rubbish food and now I feel sick
4. I am miserable
5. I am NOT miserable because I have my period, I am miserable because I have every right to be miserable, so fuck off!
6. I am depressed
7. I am NOT depressed because I have my period, I am depressed because I have nothing of value to offer to anyone and I don’t really see the point anymore, so fuck off!
8. I am probably going to cry
9. I am NOT going to cry because I have my period, I am going to cry because 30 Rock is a poignant and moving program, so fuck off!
10. I really need a cuddle
11. I will scream if anyone touches me
12. I will never feel like having sex again
13. I still feel sick but I am going to eat more chocolate
14. Did I mention there is blood oozing from my vagina!

Thanks for reading, now fuck off!

_______

Actually, don’t do that! Please like, or follow or leave your comment below to let me know you care. Then you can fuck off!

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