Let me lay out the pro’s and con’s of this particular occurrence.
- I am not pregnant
- I have blood coming out of my vagina
- I am bloated, dirty, spotty, sticky and gross
- I just ate around 15,000 calories of rubbish food and now I feel sick
- I am miserable
- I am NOT miserable because I have my period, I am miserable because I have every right to be miserable, so fuck off!
- I am depressed
- I am NOT depressed because I have my period, I am depressed because I have nothing of value to offer to anyone and I don’t really see the point anymore, so fuck off!
- I am probably going to cry
- I am NOT going to cry because I have my period, I am going to cry because 30 Rock is a poignant and moving program, so fuck off!
- I really need a cuddle
- I will scream if anyone touches me
- I will never feel like having sex again
- I still feel sick but I am going to eat more chocolate
- Did I mention there is blood oozing from my vagina!
Thanks for reading, now fuck off!
Actually, don’t do that! Please like, or follow or leave your comment below to let me know you care. Then you can fuck off!
5 thoughts on “Hello Aunt Flo”
Bet you are glad you are away on business
Thank you for making me laugh after I’ve been crying all day. I needed that.
Oh Dee! Hope everything is OK? Glad I could put a smile on your face.
You funny bugger. Now YOU fuck off!